There’s Not enough time…REally!

So, for the last…week or maybe two…that crazy, anxiety-filled feeling has been creeping over me. (And I do really become another person when these feelings overwhelm me….so sorry to my family, especially to my loving, put up with the-stressed-out-me, husband)

That feeling like, “I have stuff to do, and I’m getting to it when I can get to it, but the list is building…”

It’s building and building and building and, pretty soon, in the back of my head, I don’t have just this small list of things to do, “when I get time” but, I have a million lists of a million things to do, and REALLY there IS NO EXTRA TIME!

This is how I lived my live for the first 5 years of our business….then I decided to let go a bit of the “I’m a SAHM, and I have to SAH and get EVERYTHING done, including everything it takes to running a home, keeping a husband happy, and taking care of two toddlers (at the time)”.

Yep…I let go and I “went to work”.

And it was the BEST THING EVER!!!!

Now, especially during our busy season. I have “work days” where I have a sitter (90% of the time my MIL – who we do have to pay) come two – three days a week, so I can go do “work”. That is, anything that has to do with the business. So, I go….to Panera usually, and don’t check email, don’t get on chat, don’t get on twitter, or facebook, or blogs….I just GET IT DONE when it comes to the business.

Because I do this, I am able to come home, and BE at home with my kids and hubby. I’ve had my work time, I know there is another time coming for that plate that is already filling up. But I can leave that plate alone and only take care of it when I am “working.”

Here’s the crux…I am suppose to be on my “downtime’ right now….meaning, the business should be slow, and I really shouldn’t need “work time” right now. So, I’ve only been getting about 2-4 hours a week, and really it hasn’t been enough. Half of my work time, I’ve been using for errands, doctor’s appts, GROCERY shopping, etc..so my actual “work” time has only been about 2 hours a week…so I’m not getting things done…

And this stresses me, because I have/had personal projects I wanted to work on this winter for MYSELF (ie…our own wedding photos and album, photo albums of MY kids…etc…) But I can’t even start on that stuff until I; finish taxes, finish client books, client photo orders, vender photos, vendor books, etc, etc, etc)

SO…my mind is not ALL here with my kids, and ALL here with my husband…my mind is thinking about all the things that need done….and it’s not all business stuff….it’s just all life stuff. (I know you know what I mean!)

One MAJOR thing we’ve (well, really I) have been stressing about is Kindergarten.

I mean, that one little word really doesn’t seem that scary right?

Well….there are lots to consider. I am not homeschooling….I just cannot do it on top of all my other mom/wife and business owner duties…so if you homeschool and it’s the best for you and your family – GREAT! But it’s REALLY not the best for ours…and I’m just going to stop feeling guilty about it.

Secondly, we live in the City of Dayton. There is no way we’re sending our child to a COD Public school….I can give you lots of reasons, but you can probably guess.

So….we’re leaning towards Dayton Christian…which is great except that it COSTS a lot…how much? I didn’t know until today.

Then there’s also the decision of whether we choose the Xenia campus because it’s on the same property where David works, or do we choose the Miamisburg campus because we know lots of other families who go there? (We live right between the two)

SO, I have ben dragging my feet on starting the process, b/c it’s unknown and scary and I don’t know what I am doing. But TODAY …. in the light of NEEDING to get things DONE and off the LIST…I decided I would call!

The Bad News is it costs: $5830 for the year! (GASP!)

The Good news is, David works in ministry and we’re eligible for a 10% discount! YAY! 

The SUPER Good news is, because we live in Dayton, (a failing school district) we can apply for this OH State Voucher that will pay….wait for it….

$4250 towards our school tuition if we get accepted for it! (Guess how you can pray for us now!?!? – that we would be accepted for the voucher!)

I was so relieved to hear it might be possible, PRAISE THE LORD!!!! and got all the steps I needed to get the ball moving both to enroll in Kindergarten and to apply for the voucher…just some more stuff to add TO the TO DO LIST. 

So, back to the not enough time thing….

This was my day just Today…

Get up

Take Ezra to Pre-K

Take Araya with me to:

The Bank

The Post Office

Starbucks (to check on our photo display there)

Our HC Leader’s House to drop off a form I need signed

Back to pick up Ezra to take him along with his class on a field trip to the Pet Store.

Brought the kids home and gave them a bath – You would NOT believe this Pet Store….all the things they touched and they were on the floor!!!

Made lunch for the kids

MIL – Showed up…I left for Panera

Called Dayton Christian

Called OHIO Board of Education

Edited 30 photos for a company shoot I did last week

Ordered prints for an Engagement Session

Ate Lunch somewhere in there

Responded to several ‘business’ emails.

Updated our FB pages with Business News…needs to be done…marketing

Got kicked out of my spot at Panera for a reserved meeting

Visited some close friends who just had their first baby last night at 3AM!

Came home

Made Dinner

Uploaded previously edited photos online for client to view

Uploaded Print order

Ate Dinner – Made the kids eat dinner

Talked on the phone with my SIL

Helped Araya create a pet for herself in Ezra’s new Leapster (that I promised I would do today)

Got the kids Jammies on

Put the kids to bed with the help of David

Came downstairs

A Friend Called

Got a To Do list ready for David to help with

Waiting for several folders to copy from my HD to the server

Writing this post

So, that’s a lot right?

….but evidentially not enough….cause there’s so much more to do and not enough time…

How’s your TO DO list coming?

In my head…

So, I’ve realized that I blog a lot in my head….”If I were going to blog about this, this is what I would say…” However, for the 3 people who follow my blog, you know that what is in my head RARELY ever makes it to the blog. (I hope to change that)

 

I have been having a lot of thoughts lately about ‘bloggers’ those that blog a lot. I have around 45 blogs in my Google Reader and it feels like I have HUNDEREDS….because there are always so many posts and so many things to read.

 

Truth be told, I mostly look at people’s photos and skim their stories. =o)

 

I do have several “learning blogs” if you will…one about freezer cooking, one about being a better mom/wife, etc,, one about being a better woman in the bedroom, (yes you heard me right- sometimes a little Godly encouragement goes a long way), one about how to save the most money on xy&z, one about things to do in the area, several photographer friends that I like to encourage in their work, I also follow several close friends to keep up their thoughts, family, etc….

 

One thing that gets me about blogging is that SOMETIMES (not all the time and not everybody) blogs are the perfect front.

 

People tell what they want to tell and create a story of how they want to be perceived. As a person looking in from the outside….it is not fair to us when people make their lives look perfect, because I am here to tell you … I am not perfect!  And when I read about other people’s lives being great and wonderful, it makes me think “what’s wrong with me?” Now, I agree that is entirely my own issue I need to work on…

 

All I am saying is, I want my blog to reflect the truth. (And maybe that’s why I’ve hesitated to blog a lot in the past)

 

The truth is….God is DEFINITELY not finished with me yet! (Phil. 1:6 And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you^, will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.)

The truth is, I am overweight, my kids are not perfect, I am struggling with parenting, my marriage is not perfect, we have financial issues, and I have about a 100 things to work on in my own life, and I just hope that whatever I am going through can be seen as encouragement to someone else.

(I believe a little authenticity goes a long way!)

 

Things I am blogging in my head today….

 

I am still TIRED all the time from my hysterectomy….it makes me not want to do anything but curl up on the couch with my kiddos and take it easy.

HOWEVER…being a mom and a business owner, that’s not possible…STILL…that’s what I WANT to do! (when will this go away?)

 

Also, close friend of mine…found out today she might have Ovarian Cancer. HOW do you handle that? I mean, I’m stressed and worried and concerned for her, and it’s not even me!?

 

1 Samuel 2 :2-4

² “There is no one holy like the LORD;
   there is no one besides you;
  there is no Rock like our God.

³ “Do not keep talking so proudly
   or let your mouth speak such arrogance,
for the LORD is a God who knows,
   and by him deeds are weighed.

 

The Lord knows all the stuff in our life…He is not surprised…and thank you LORD that you are our ROCK.

 

Lord, please forgive me for always wanting to be in control. Thank you that I don’t HAVE to be!

Thank you that you are never surprised by the events in our lives and please help me to remember that you are my Rock…..the One and ONLY, help me to only turn to You in times of desperation!

It’s not Just a lunch box

So, this is a confession….of a Mama, not quite ready….

Ezra goes to Tuesday School (on Tuesdays only for half day) and Preschool M,W & Friday for half day too. Yep…4 days a week he’s gone to Preschool.

At the beginning of the year his Pre-K told me about this thing called ‘Lunch Bunch’ they also called Extended Stay. Well, since I am a SAHM, I never put another thought to it. (Because it’s my job to feed him lunch, he doesn’t need to stay for lunch right?) Then the teacher tells me that “a lot of kids get to Lunch Bunch on Monday’s and Ezra might really like to go – he seems really interested in it” So, I told her that we’d let him try it out. So, he went once. Then after many discipline issues I didn’t want to let him go because it was feeling like rewarding him after he was being bad in school.

Then I decided to tell him that if he was good 3 days in a row he would be allowed to go to Lunch Bunch. Well…he did it, and every day let me know how he was being good. 3 days (a full week of school for him) he was good…no issues whatsoever! He earned Lunch Bunch!

 

Well, he had to wait until after Christmas to get his reward. Then the first day of school (and lunch bunch) was cancelled because the churches heat was out and it was freezing. (Yep…he cried he was so disappointed he didn’t get to go to school OR Lunch Bunch)

 

So…today was the day he got to go to Lunch Bunch. (and he gets to go every Monday & Wednesday as long as he is good in school) The teacher told me “the other kids bring their lunches in insulated lunch sacks”. So…we made a trip to Target for the lunch box you see above.

 

This whole process I’ve been dragging my feet. (I didn’t want him to go, I didn’t want to buy him a lunch box, etc)
Last night when I was making his lunch I realized why.

I’M NOT READY FOR HIM TO GO OFF TO SCHOOL!

I mean preschool is one thing, but preschool & taking your little lunch box for lunch is getting REALLY close to Kindergarten & after Kindergarten,

FIRST GRADE….and well…I’m not ready!

I know it’s just a lunch box and only an hour longer at school….but I got a little teary making up his lunch for him.
WHERE DID THE TIME GO?

(By the way…he was great at school today and LOVED his lunch and his Lunch Bunch fun!)

Cancelling the ‘Y’

Yep, you heard right! I’m cancelling my membership at the Y.

Seems like an odd time of the year to do it right? Well….it’s a lot of money out of our pockets when A.) I am only suppose to start off mildly exercising after my surgery B.) I never have time to go C.) I’m paying for a family membership, and no one in our family has been since….um, June?

YIKES!

This doesn’t mean I’m not going to stick to my weight loss goals, it just means I need to make it work at home.

I have a treadmill in the basement I can start walking on until I’m allowed to run. I have a Wii and 3 different exercise programs that go with that, including the new Just Dance2 game…that I only did for about 20-30 mins the other night with the kids and I could feel it in my arms for 3 days!

Not to mention about 5-6 other exercise DVDs. On top of that David got me the new Active2 for the Wii – (side note…what kind of hint am I suppose to take from that?) It’s suppose to be the most accurate, blah, blah, blah.

I’m all set up for a win…..except for um, the motivation… I’m hoping that will come after a week or so of MAKING myself get back at this exercise thing….

Here’s to 2011 and all those pounds I’m saying goodbye to!!!

Ladies with Lenses – A Photography Class by Shannon Perlow